Escape from reality
by ThinLizzie
Summary: Ron and Hermione. Friends that fight. They'd never admit that they secretly fantasise about one another...but are these fantasies really separate? And what happens when they find out? Loosley set in SIXTH YEAR! SMUT, DRAMA AND COMEDY :D
1. Welcome to my nightmare

Author's note: Well…basically this is set during the 6th year and it's about RON AND HERMIONE'S relationship (which by the way _has _to finally happen in the 7th book – am I right?!) Anyway, it's a pretty typical set up…they both want each other but are held from each other by unfortunate and annoying circumstances/conflict etc blah!

They are, in my opinion the best pairing…except perhaps for Harry and Malfoy (mwahaha…) but anyhow, just because the summary I mentioned previously does sound painful boring…read it anyway? Cheers :D

Ron was panting hard. His green t-shirt clung to his lean body and his messy red hair covered his eyes. He couldn't stop though. No way. He was hurtling through the hallways, completely driven, led by his own pulsating desire…

He didn't seem to notice the roof caving in above him, or the suits of Armour that came smashing to the floor as he frantically flailed by.

Why were the floors so slippery? And since when did the Gryffindor common room become a huge bouncy castle? Look, there's Harry and…and…is that Malfoy? He's not meant to be in there. And why the bloody hell is he bouncing with _him_? Keep running. Nearly there now. Oh shit. There's Lavender. Don't let her see you.

"Lavender!" Ron gestured enthusiastically "Could you please not see me?" 

"Sure!" She chirped, pecking him lightly on the cheek, "Have a good time!"

As he stumbled up the last staircase to the seventh floor he briefly considered, _she can't really mean that…or does she? Maybe girls don't mind about this sort of thing…or am I just…_

He skidded to a halt. Why was his family here? His entire family…lined up against the corridor…and…and clapping and smiling warmly at him…

"D…Dad…" he faltered.

"Go on son!" Arthur ruffled his hair and gave him a firm thump on the back.

_Hmm…this is odd…_

"Don't do anything we wouldn't do brother!" Fred and George winked simultaneously.

"Thanks guys…I really appreciate it."

Ginny leaned forward with a very serious look in her eyes, "Take this Ron…it's very important… Professor Snape made it very clear that you should have them." She handed him a pair of handcuffs.

"Brilliant. How thoughtful of him. Tell him I said thanks yeah?"

She nodded.

Blimey, even his Aunt Tessie was here. As he edged by she pinched his bum and growled. Ron turned to her, touched. " Thank you…it means a lot."

He was only mildly shocked to see his brother Percy, who, as he passed him blew excitedly on a party blower.

Bill and Charlie were in tears, and after a short embarrassing moment where Bill attempted to vocalize his current bout of feelings, Ron just moved on, absolutely horrified.

Talk about an emotionally draining experience…an emotionally draining and disturbing experience…and how am I ever going to have the energy to… 

"Mum!" Ron's voice came out like a terrified squeak.

"My little Ronnie-kins! All grown up at last…I love you son, and just remember…when you go in there, I'll be with you all the way. Be a gentleman. I'll be watching!" She embraced him, removed the hair away from his eyes and rearranged his robes…since when was he wearing robes?

Okay…she's joking right? This has gone too far! Did she say she was going to be watching?! Err…I don't know if I can do this anymore…

When Ron turned round and saw the proud, hopeful tears glistening in the eyes of all his loved ones, he decided to ignore this typical manifestation of his bloody annoying mental state.

With an only slightly nervous gulp, he swung open the door to the room of requirement.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

He clenched his fists, bit his lip anxiously, and marched into what appeared to be the sixth year boys' dormitory.

He stumbled through the darkness, vaguely aware that he was making his way towards his own bed.

"What the…" He squealed as a hand gripped his ankle. He knelt to the floor, shaking slightly.

It was Harry. Why the hell was he under Seamus' bed?!

"Hiya Ron!"

"Alrite mate." Ron mumbled back, slightly pissed off now. "Look, err…nothing personal but I sort of need you to fuck off right now…" Ron smiled awkwardly.

"Right you are. Not a problem I'll just…"

"Hang on, earlier I saw…what were you and Malfoy…"

Harry's eyes widened, "Erm…we were just…" and then he vanished.

Ron shrugged, got up and carried on.

"Fuck!" He banged his head against one of his bedposts and reeled back wincing with pain.

But just as his head had finally stopped spinning, a pair of hands reached out and yanked him roughly by the front of his shirt on top of it…her…HER!

"Ron! You know how I feel about punctuality. I'm not impressed."

A pair of mischievous brown eyes burned up at his own startled blue ones.

"Bloody hell…Hermione!" He cried out, only it came out more like a groan.

She raised her eyebrows provocatively. His groin stirred like it always did when she looked at him like that…usually during an argument…_only she never actually realizes how sexy she looks…_

"I really want you Ronald. Now." 

His heart thudded and his erection throbbed against the now restricting front of his jeans.

Her eyes seared into his with lust. "Just fuck me."

He'd never seen her like this before. He swallowed. He could feel her hard nipples pressed against his own chest. His eyes briefly flickered downwards and then snapped back up abruptly. _Yeah…I was right…she's not wearing a lot. _He gulped. This was almost too much for him to cope with.

Momentarily paralysed, she began to gently kiss his neck, although biting it every so often whilst her hand slid down his body to the top of his jeans.

When she stopped what she was doing to him he breathed out in panic, "N…No!"

She laughed at him and then her smile disappeared, to be replaced by a look that Ron could only surmise as…purely dominatrix. "Have you got the handcuffs?" She purred.

Five words. Five words that even in the midst of his passion (for Ron had quickly snapped out of his boyish nervousness and was now unmercifully causing Hermione to scream out with sharp pleasure) he knew he would find bloody hard to forget. Ever.

As Ron teasingly played with her beautifully slender body, her breathy moans sent him over the edge. 

He shuddered. He let his own body go limp as she cuffed his arms above his head, to the bedpost.

Now it was his turn…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Oi…what the hell?" Ron barked croakily as he awoke to a pillow being hurled at his face.

"Come on Ron, Hermione's downstairs in the common room waiting for us…well actually _me, _seeing as she hates your guts at the moment." At Ron's suddenly aghast face Harry continued hastily and not too smoothly, "…But at least you're able to talk civilly to one another now…well not so much civil as… well anyway, the point is that you know how she hates it when you're late!" Harry rambled.

"Errr…yes." Ron gulped, blushing a ferocious scarlet, as in his mind he pictured Hermione's kinky reprimand, as he pinned her down on the bed…

"Well, get a bloody move on then!"

"Alrite, alrite! Give me a break, I was having a really good…"

"Yeah, we heard mate." 

Ron's mouth hung open.

Dean sniggered and to Ron's complete mortification, Neville performed a horrifyingly accurate imitation of the state he'd been in only a minute ago.

"I don't blame you, Lavender's pretty hot!" Seamus affirmed.

There was a general roar of approval.

Ron bit his lip and reddened even further, "Oh yeah definitely, she's hot…and so was that dream…about Lavender."

Harry looked at Ron, smiling to himself. _What a stupid git. _

"Ron, word of advice. Maybe the girl from your dream deserves to know the way you feel about her?" He muttered as they left the dormitory.

Ron assumed a look of careful nonchalance. "I dunno what you mean…" _Bloody git…I wasn't the one "bouncing" around with Malfoy last night though was I?_

"Harry! Ron! How long does it take to get out of bed?!" A bossy and exasperated voice called from the bottom of the stairs.

I'm coming, my sweet, sexually frustrated dominatrix…oh god, where the fuck did that come from!? Stop thinking Ron…that's your problem…so…so, just don't think anymore…shit, there's Lavender…

As Ron desperately tried to suppress the memories of the all too brief dreams that pleasured him unbearably each night, he accepted that he'd have to live through yet another day. A day that, though he'd try to avoid it, would be spent watching, thinking, breathing, longing for _her. _

Lavender leant lazily against the wall outside his door…_she looks like she's going to eat me…or kill me…possibly one followed by the other…_

_She _was stamping her foot at the bottom of the stairs, looking suitably flustered. Her hair, adorably tousled and her eyes determinedly looking at anywhere but him.

Ron felt something inside him ache. Either everything's wrong or nothing is right.

Welcome to my nightmare… 

Author's note: So, there you go! I would _love_ to continue with this…tell me what you think!!! Please review!!!! Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and by the way, if I did continue this…it'd contain a fair amount of violence, drama, mild humour and most importantly…smut ;)


	2. Have you got the handcuffs?

Author's note: Okay…the last chapter was a bit random/strange/ "what the hell!?"….well, all I can say is that it was totally meant to be like that because, in my experience dreams are random, strange and "what the hell"!!! So sorry if the last chapter somehow didn't seem…right. Haha. I'm mostly referring to the bit with Ron's family! Anyway, I'll stop analysing and get the hell on with it.

Hermione was seriously fucked off. I mean, he was acting like there wasn't even anything wrong. In fact he'd been acting completely normal with her ever since it had happened. _The insensitive tosser…_

"Are you ok Hermione? Because err…you seem sort of um…sort of…insane…or at least an insane unlike normal Hermione's insane-ness…"

Two piercing blue eyes blinked up at her from underneath a messy mass of ginger hair. She became suddenly aware that she was slumped over a table (not a position she's _ever _found herself in before) and the afore mentioned _insensitive tosser _was in front of her, mirroring her unfamiliar position.

Their faces were actually only a few inches apart. She flushed as she felt his breath involuntarily tickle her neck.

"Where are we Ron?" She whispered, her breath beginning to quicken.

She was met with an irritatingly cute lopsided grin as Ron turned to Harry, "Yes, Miss 'I'm absolutely perfect in every way' has finally cracked…must admit I always knew it'd happen…" He continued to mumble to himself happily.

Harry sniggered and tapped Hermione's shoulder, "We're in potions class, remember?"

"Yeah..." Ron gently nudged her arm and then preceded to perform a disturbingly accurate high-pitched imitation of her, "I'd rather _DIE _than doze during class, as it shows an unforgivable level of…of stupidity, disrespect and conceit…"

Hermione frowned and slapped his hand away. "I've never said anything remotely similar to that rubbish…you bloody moron." She was now sitting upright and looking down at him indignantly.

Harry snorted with laughter, to which she shot him a sufficiently withering glare.

Ron's mouth hung open and as Hermione turned away to continue with their potion, resolutely trying to ignore them both, he couldn't help but grin.

"Obscene language from such a pristine girl," He remarked.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not _that _pristine."

Harry and Ron exchanged glances.

"Oh, just leave me alone will you? I don't criticize the way the two of you live your lives…" Ron began to interrupt but she continued crossly, "…I fell asleep in class…it's hardly a big deal is it? It doesn't change anything…I'm still _me_. I can catch up…I'll still get good grades…" She rambled on, until Ron put a finger to her lips.

_His fingers are on my lips! Oh, come on Hermione. That is pathetic…_

"It's ok Hermione," he smirked, "It never happened okay…we'll forget all about it won't we Harry?"

"Oh yeah, sure we will." Harry smiled, convincingly sincere.

The three continued to work, reasonably cooperatively, with only occasional bickering rows between Ron and Hermione, which were soon brought to abrupt ends by a visit from Lavender.

Harry found it hard not to notice that every time Ron's girlfriend strutted over, Hermione's eyes would become blank.

It was also Harry's theory that although Ron would initially redden, frustration over Hermione's apparent lack of anything remotely close to jealousy was what soon compelled him to become, some might say overly "attentive" towards his "lover".

One time he found himself wincing in anticipation of a long awaited final confrontation, when Ron, playfully laying Lavender down onto the table, knocked over one of Hermione's vials of potion.

However, much to his complete astonishment she silently repaired the damage, seemingly unconcerned. The look of utter mortification on Ron's face however was not unrecognizable. It was almost as if he was disappointed…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was the end of the lesson and Hermione wanted to get out. Out of that fucking classroom with stupid Ron Weasley and his stupid slut of a girlfriend. She didn't know how much more of Lavender's pretty tinkling laugh, silky, straight hair and annoying girly voice she could take.

She wanted to scream. She must have been breathing pretty harshly in her fury, as Harry glanced over at her anxiously.

It didn't help that Ron was helping her to pack away her potions things. _Why can't he just leave me alone?! _

He smiled warily. _He knows I'm upset this time. Great. _"Right…erm…we're done. Merlin, look at the amount of homework Slug's given us…I'll never be able to get this potion done by next lesson…" She was absent mindedly watching his lips while he idiotically stammered on. "…Blimey, look at the ingredients list Hermione…I dunno if I've got all these…" He tapped her shoulder.

Hermione snapped out of her daydream, "Have you got the handcuffs?"

She immediately slapped her hand to her mouth in horror. _Did I actually just say that?_

They were both temporarily frozen, staring in confusion at one another as the majority of the class began to filter out.

Eventually, Ron cleared his throat. "Beg your pardon Hermione?" he croaked.

She felt her colouring rise monstrously.

"Oh, I didn't say anything Ronald. You must have misheard me…"

"But…but…Handcuffs…" was his feeble retort.

"Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout!" She squeaked, before making a swift exit.

Ron however, stood there fore a further minute, gaping after her bushy head as she hurried down the staircase.

She did say what I thought she just said…why else would she run away from me like I'm diseased or something…well, apart form the fact that I acted like an insensitive tosser today and possibly every day since we've been friends…

He was rudely awakened by a sharp pinch on his bum. He spun around defensively, only to be pounced on by his girlfriend.

His body, much to his guilt reacted with typical enthusiasm, although his mind was unwillingly jammed. Stuck. On repeat mode.

"Have you got the handcuffs?" " Have you got the handcuffs?" "Have you got the handcuffs?"

A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and if anyone was wondering, I did slip in a Breakfast Club reference there…although slightly altered…in the Breakfast Club Bender says "Obscene finger gestures" if anyone cares really. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! Even to insult this story. Any feedback whatsoever would be greatly appreciated!!!!


	3. Conscious Thought

Why in Dumbledore's name do I have such a big mouth all of a sudden? What has happened to me?

I'm not that sort of girl. (The kind of girl who stupidly blurts things out about handcuffs…)

And why does he keep sneaking shifty glances across the table at me? Oh yes, try as you might Ron, I have noticed you doing it. Concentrating hard on his homework as usual…

I really fail to see why he's constantly giving me the once over…he looks like he's expecting me to pounce on him. I suppose it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that he now thinks I'm harbouring some sort of secret, sordid obsession with sex toys…

Well, shocking revelation. Hermione Granger has a sex drive. Shocking revelation. Hermione Granger has sexual organs.

I hate him.

_No I don't. But he's a complete idiot if he'd rather be with the walking sex organ than…_

_What the hell am I saying? He's my friend. My idiotic, senseless, brave and totally adorable when he opens his mouth to speak, friend._

_I hate him._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Have I gone mental? Hearing voices is meant to be a clear warning sign. And I definitely heard the word "handcuffs"…but she was the one who said it. I saw and heard her. Why else would she go all red and fidget about like she does on the rare occasion that she loses her dignity and endures what us mere mortals know oh so well? Embarrassment. Humiliation._

_I can't help but laugh to myself. Maybe I have gone mad. Or maybe I haven't started thinking about this clearly yet. _

_Oh no. She caught me again while I was smiling. She'll probably pounce on me next time…I hope she pounces on me next time. _

_Why does she keep shooting me murderous glares? She doesn't seem to realize that I can see her doing it. It's rather obvious._

_I'm almost one hundred percent sure that I haven't done anything wrong this time. She was the one who brought "handcuffs" into the whole business. Haha. Filth. Filthy Hermione._

_Stop it Ron. She looks like she wants to tell me I'm a naughty boy. That I should be punished._

_Get your bloody mind out of the gutter Ron Weasley. You have a girlfriend. Yeah. _

_She scares me._

_Both of them do. _

_Lavender scares me because I can see everything she feels, wants, and needs in her eyes. It's sort of hard to avoid._

_Hermione on the other hand scares me even more, because most of the time I don't have a clue what she wants or what she's thinking or feeling. Take now for instance. She's clearly pissed off with me. But why? She's a mystery. And it makes me so bloody annoyed that I seem to succeed so well in upsetting her…when I've known for a long time now that the one thing I desire above everything else in the entire world is to make Hermione Granger happy._

_Why am I smiling again? This time when she catches me I hold my hands up in defeat. She's shaking her head now. That high and mighty…she's walking over…no, actually it's more like charging…_

"Ron, for heavens sake will you stop bloody staring at me!?" Her eyes were narrowed with vexation. "You know what, forget it! I'll leave…and maybe then you can have even more fun glaring at the empty space in which the freak used to reside!"

She began to march off huffily but Ron quickly grabbed her upper arm and turned her back around to face him.

"Oi you…firstly, I was only staring at the fact that you were sitting all the way over there… and…and staring at _me_! And secondly, I think you ought to bloody well be careful because that was the second bloody time you've sworn today! Don't want to get a bad reputation eh? And thirdly…erm…"

Hermione tired to remove his strong grip on her arm. He didn't release her; so instead she bestowed upon him a very dismissive sigh.

"Thirdly Ron? Come on, I really am _dying_ to know what else you think!"

"Thirdly, erm…you're not a freak…err…so…so I wouldn't be staring at where the freak used to reside…because you know…"

He stopped rambling because there was a smile twitching at the corners of her lips.

"You're insufferable Ron," she smiled.

"Ah but Hermione, you'd gladly suffer for my company." he grinned.

She rolled her eyes and made to sit back down.

"Oh Hermione by the way, our problems are all sorted now because I've remembered them! I've got the handcuffs!"

You might actually be pushing it here Ron. Lets see… 

But before he could assess and enjoy her reaction to that cheeky remark he was suddenly grappled by…his girlfriend.

And when he managed to pause for breath and look around…. she was gone.

A/N: WARNING: you are about to read a plea that denotes a certain level of desperation. Well…if you put this story on story alert then I assume that you don't dislike it...so would it be too much to ask for you to review as well?? Even if it's just to say "Yay" or "Nay" or whatever. It would make my day. So err...go on, make my day. :D


	4. You're wet

A/N: Whoa…is my story cheesy or what!? You seriously don't realize how much it is when you're writing it…maybe because I usually write this at around 11 o clock at night. But I just read my last chapter haha and I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies to all cheese haters. Anyway, it's considerably earlier now so you never know…maybe this chapter will be slightly more…un-cheesy?! Many thanks to The Sidekicks, Nagi Rai, GoodbyeYBR, Katrin4p and Fool4Sasuke33 for reviewing…you're awesome:D

Ron was nearly dozing off whilst the rest of the class pretended to listen to Professor Trelawney's tedious prediction of Harry's inevitable demise, this time involving an angry Filch and a lawnmower.

He was vaguely aware that a life sized Scabbers sat next to him, nibbling away with careless abandon. However, rather than finding this odd, instead his response was one of irritation.

"Oi Pettigrew, shut it or else I'll tell you-know-who. I'm trying to concentrate!"

He was just about to consider whether it was in fact possible to have sex whilst flying on his broom when….

The entire class gasped in shock, Trelawney stopped her warbling and Scabbers dropped his cheese.

There now stood in the centre of the room a disheveled and distressed looking Hermione, panting heavily, her eyes wide with fear. Her hair was a sexy mess of curls and her lips looked swollen. Ron groaned involuntarily. Her robes were torn…her skirt ripped to reveal the smooth skin of her thighs.

"Ron, help me! Help me! He's after me!" She shrieked.

_He _soon sprang up the trapdoor, wand in hand and without much delay he propelled her towards him. She whimpered as Malfoy's hands began to wander over her delicate midriff. She shivered at his touch and Malfoy smirked when his eyes eventually found…Weasley.

"She's mine now Weasel. I'm going to ravish the mudblood until it hurts so much that she's screaming for more," he snarled.

Ron felt hot rage bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Before he knew it he'd scrambled to the front of the class and began to pummel Malfoy. However, as his fists made contact he gaped in confusion when Malfoy's skin pressed inwards…he was a beanbag! Before he knew it there was blood all over the floor and Malfoy had been reduced to a round, fabric mass.

"Oh, Ronald Billius Weasley! My knight in…shining armour" her eyes hungrily scanned his body. He was naked! But before he could recoil in horror, she swooned (like a damsel) and he barely caught her.

He cleared his throat. "I'll protect you now and for ever more, gorgeous. But come, we must flee, you are in grave danger."

He scooped her up into his strong and rather manly arms and hastened away down the ladder with her. His classmates waved and clapped and he was almost certain he saw Trelawney sink down into the Malfoy beanbag before continuing her lesson.

It was hard for him to run. For one thing, he was now painfully aware of his nakedness as whilst he thundered down the many stairs, the limp girl in his arms came into a steady and throbbing contact with his…

It also didn't help that she knew this and kept giggling, her smooth hands roaming his bare chest and her mouth occasionally nipping at his neck.

When she started to arch her back and rub her body against his, moaning and growling with cute little sighs he thought he was going to collapse.

It now occurred to him that it was raining. But they were still inside. She was almost slipping out of his arms now as the wetness between them made his task a tricky one. However, she soon saw to that, changing her position so that her legs were now wrapped around his abdomen. Every so often she thrust at him, smiling innocently as he gazed desperately up at her.

He was out of breath and about to stop running when their eyes met.

"Have you done your homework Ron?" She knitted her eyebrows with a frown.

He was startled by this. I mean…he was naked, she was nearly that way too and yet there she was, being completely normal and asking him about…

"I didn't think so. But don't worry I've decided to let you copy mine word for word all the time!" She smiled sweetly.

"But…" he interjected only for her to stop his mortified interruption by biting his lip.

"Ouch…thank you," he grinned as his ears reddened.

Then she began to nibble his ear. _This is the best day of my life…_

When they got to Hermione's dormitory he ungracefully threw her on to the bed and before she could crossly admonish him he ripped off her wet shirt.

It had been too much for him…her now wet and transparent shirt revealing the black lace, erect nipples and soft cleavage…

"You're wet Miss Granger." He smiled softly, tucking a rebellious curl behind her ear.

She silently performed a charm that dried them both off instantly.

His mouth trailed gentle kisses down her shivering, soft midriff and his hand followed it with strokes that caused Hermione to moan quietly with pleasure.

"Ah…Ron,"she gasped.

He gently lifted up her skirt and slipped two fingers inside her lacey knickers.

He pressed against her folds and she involuntarily thrust herself forwards, causing him to shudder also.

He raised his head, his hair tousled and his lips red and swollen to meet her pleasure-filled eyes. She lay there, flushed and breathing heavily.

His face split into a wicked grin. "You're _still_ wet."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Hermione was in a bad mood. She stormed through the corridors towards the common room muttering obscenities under her breath and glaring menacingly at anyone who looked as though they were about to approach her.

She'd been doing her Charms essay outside when she'd fallen asleep. What was with her these days?! Well…she knew what was up with her…or rather _who_…but that didn't make it any more acceptable. She'd awoken to find herself completely drenched and her parchment all smudged and ruined. She'd have to start completely over again! _I hate the rain!_

_Rain! God I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I realize! _She'd been having one of those dreams again. The kind of dreams that prey on her mind all day, causing unfortunate and embarrassing slip ups and that make her feel like some sort of dirty…well, you know.

She pushed her way through the portrait hole. _Well, as long as I don't run into…_

_Shit. _

She averted her gaze and began to make her way towards her dormitory.

_Too late._

He sprang up from an armchair and at the sight of her...soaked through and shaking with cold he strode over, grinning arrogantly.

"Alrite Hermione?" He asked, pretending to ignore her wetness.

"Oh, perfectly fine Ronald," she responded through chattering teeth.

_There. How predictable…_

His face split into an arrogant and very pleased grin.

"You're wet Miss Granger."

_Hang on…_

She waved her wand distractedly, steam drying herself. He wasn't smiling anymore…in fact, he looked confused…or else he's running his hand through his hair which is usually what he does when he's…

"Did you get your homework done then?" For some reason he was avoiding looking directly at her.

"No," she gave a small sob and indicated the soggy, tattered piece of parchment that was her charms essay.

"Oh shit, now what am I going to do?" he thought aloud.

"Excuse me?" Her eyes met his suspiciously.

"You said I could copy all your homework from now on…" he whispered weakly, sounding unconvinced.

"What!?" she shrieked. "I never let you copy my homework, you know that Ronald!"

She was beginning to panic. _Can he read my thoughts? Can he read my dreams? Oh my god! This is a catastrophe._

"But…" he looked really confused now.

_Oh shit, that didn't happen Ron! You bloody moron. As if that would ever happen in real life anyway…_

"How dare you assume that you could copy my essay!" She spat at him…covering up the real reason for her sudden anger. She was confused. For some reason her mind drifted back to the other day…_handcuffs._

"Well sorry Hermione, everybody makes mistakes!" he retorted.

"Oh evidently. Just some people seemed to have filled their quota for mistakes centuries ago!"

She thrust the soggy parchment at him, pushed him roughly out of the way and marched off in such a fury that a group of first year boys screamed, one in particular looking close to fainting.

_Stupid girl. What the hell is wrong with her? She just turns up all wet and sexy after that wet and sexy dream I just had…I was bound to slip up…_

He sighed, picked up the parchment, pocketed it and padded slowly up to bed, his head faintly aching.

A/N: PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! AND IF YOU HAVE, THEN FEEL FREE SO TO DO AGAIN:D


	5. Reality bites

Well isn't this pleasant? It's not often that I'm spending time with my two best friends these days. I mean, Harry's got his lessons with Dumbledore…not to mention the weight of the entire wizarding world on his shoulders. And as for Ron…well, he's quite literally _doing _other things. Ok, so not exactly. I don't think he's actually having sex because…I'm sure he'd have told me if he'd lost his virginity. We confide things to each other. Plus, he's completely insensitive when it comes to things like that. He'd have absolutely no idea that by telling me, he'd inevitably be the cause of…well…very un-Hermione-like things. Like when I found out about him and Lavender. I didn't even bother with my History of magic essay. I only did six rolls of parchment. It was mental.

Awww. Just like old times. I can almost forget that the boy I'm in love with has chosen to fraternize with a girl who I really don't think could possibly be more dissimilar to myself. Mustn't anaylse the implications of this. Stop anaylsing the implications of this…

"Yawning again Ron? You know, maybe you ought to have a word with Lavender? Tell her to ease off a bit…she's draining you…"

"Thanks Harry. I get the message." Ron smiled weakly and put his head in his hands.

His two companions exchanged particularly confused glances. Harry looked questioningly at Hermione, silently entreating her to shed any light on their friend's odd disinterest towards a subject that he'd normally be rather proud to joke about.

Oh, as if I should know. It's not like he actually talks to me these days… 

She shrugged miserably.

A heavy silence fell between them then. For some reason Ron's ears had a red tinge to them and when he briefly shot a surreptitious glance towards Hermione, their shade only seemed to deepen.

Hermione was biting her lip as if she were desperately controlling herself from saying something. She was also snatching furtive glimpses at Ron. When she seemed to ascertain that yes, he was trying to avoid looking directly at her…if Harry wasn't mistaken, he saw her eyes begin to water.

Harry had never wanted his Dad's invisibility cloak more than right at this moment.

The silence was broken this time by a yawn form Hermione.

"What is wrong with you two!?" Harry sounded half exasperated, half amused.

" Well _I_ haven't been sleeping well. Strange dreams you know." Ron stated with blatant nonchalance.

When Hermione's head snapped up at that, she found Ron to be barely containing one of his typically silly smiles.

He slowly began to giggle silently, which soon prompted Harry to join in. And there she was, watching her friends now nearly rolling off their armchairs, laughing hysterically.

She couldn't help it. They looked so… well…it was infectious. Now _she_ was grinning and laughing at them both. _I mean they look so positively moronic._

"Why can't we be like this all the time?" It was barely above a whisper and she didn't mean to say it.

The boys had gotten over the worst of their fit of hilarity, although they were still clutching their sides and wincing.

"What do you mean 'Mione?" Ron was earnestly trying to be serious now.

"We are like this all the time…" Harry comforted.

She smiled at them, although there was a slightly despondent twinkle to her eyes.

" Well I think I'm off to bed now."

She hugged Harry goodnight and waved at Ron because well…they never crossed that line.

"Sweet dreams Hermione." called Harry.

Ron choked on a chocolate frog and Hermione stumbled quite dramatically whilst ascending the stairs.

His splutters accompanied her all the way as she hobbled towards her dormitory.

When Ron had finally recovered, he shrugged sheepishly at Harry, who's response was to shake his head despairingly.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"For the last time will you just keep your mangy, rotten _beast_ away from me and Scabbers!"

"How dare you! Crookshanks is a _cat _Ron. A CAT! And he's a damn sight better looking that…that vermin of which for some stupid reason you hold so dear," she spat, gesturing wildly.

Ron gasped in horror.

"Just ignore the evil witch Scabbers…she's deluded…it's okay…"

"Oh, for heavens sake Ronald get a life! I can't believe you hate cats…"

"I do NOT hate ca…well… well so what!? I'm entitled to my own opinions and yes, I HATE CATS…especially annoying, squashy-faced ones like _that…"_

She was now pacing up and down furiously and the sight irritated Ron to such a degree that he turned his back on her, although continued to passionately mutter his hatred towards anything feline.

"Erm…Hermione? If you've just gone and left the room while I've been here arguing with you I'll…I'll…well…"

Silence.

Oh for fuck sake… 

He turned around.

Oh my…I…I…I m-must be dr-dreaming… 

She was leaning, stretched against the wall, a small and _catlike _smile twitching the corners of her lips.

Clad in a shocking, black, leather cat suit she slinked sensuously over to _play_ with the shivering, stammering wreck that Ron'd been reduced to.

I've never seen costumes like this before…is it a muggle thing? 

His eyes were glued to her once subtle curves, accentuated by the tight material…he found himself being particularly drawn to a little zip that ran down the whole length of her beautifully sculpted body.

Wow, I must have a pretty good imagination. I'm not the sort of girl who makes regular trips to Ann Summers…

"Hermione…" he whispered.

She licked his neck in response.

"Ok… well I've err changed my mind a b-bit…I quite like cats. I like 'em a lot actually…"

She ran her claws…no, nails over his slim yet muscled chest. He helped her as she lifted his t-shirt over his strong, freckly arms, whilst inhaling his scent greedily.

When their eyes met however, it was Ron who looked positively animalistic. It was almost primal.

Without further hesitation he gently laid Hermione down on the floor and straddled her hips. She licked her lips and he ever so slowly began to un-zip her…

This is like Christmas! 

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ron was vaguely aware that his limbs were aching. And whatever he was lying on was hard and cold. _Oh shit, have I fallen out of bed again?_

He groaned sleepily, but when he tried to sit up he found that he couldn't. There was something quite heavy on top of him. Not quite awake enough to open his eyes, he fumbled around with his right hand. He could feel a mass of something fluffy…_hey there's a lot of it_…on his chest…

Have I sprouted a crazy amount of chest hair overnight? Hey, it happened to Charlie… 

He began to panic. When he finally managed to blink open his eyes, he was even more surprised to see the mass of brown curls slowly moving.

Now despite the fact that he has red hair…

"Hermione!?"

"What is it Ron?" She mumbled croakily.

Gradually coming to his senses, he groped around for something…a blanket…anything, to cover his nakedness.

He heard a muffled scream and turned sharply to see Hermione clutching the torn remnants of last night's escapade. The cat suit.

"But…but I…I don't understand! I usually wake up as soon as I…this…this isn't right…I'm not meant to dream this part…why are we…" her voice, although hoarse was somewhat shrill.

"What!? You mean I'm still asleep?!" he yelled.

She instantly covered his eyes with her hand.

"Be a gentleman Ronald, don't look at me! In case you haven't noticed I'm naked!" She shouted angrily.

"Hey, I sort of did notice." He murmured, as if scared that she would fly off the handle. "And anyway, don't you think it's a bit late to be getting all shy now…I mean, last night…and the other nights… you…and…handcuffs…" his face, although blushing bore a vague sort of pleased-ness with himself.

"Shut up Ron!" she interrupted hysterically "This isn't real! None of it is, so don't pretend that…"

Now he interrupted "Then why are we both going to remember this in the morning?"

She didn't reply.

He momentarily took his hand away from his eyes.

"Ron!" she yelped.

"Sorry…erm…"

Well, as far as uncomfortable silences go… 

"I'm cold." She muttered eventually.

"Do you want me to…err…"

"No Ron. I just want to wake up now."

She sounded troubled.

This upset Ron more than he could have possibly thought.

_She probably feels disgusted with herself. I mean why would she want to do all these things with…with me? I'm just a Weasley and she's…well she's brilliant._

"Sorry."

She sniffled.

"You should be. What about Lavender?"

Now he was pissed off. "Look, I'm allowed to dream about who I bloody well want aren't I?"

"No, not at the expense of another person's feelings." Her voice was carefully calm, although the sadness behind it was evident.

When he risked peeping through his fingers at her, he saw a tear glistening on her cheek.

"Hermione…"

"Don't."

Silence.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

When he opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming through the windows and he was in his bed. Harry was already up, probably gone down to breakfast.

He remained there, breathing heavily, wondering with anguish precisely what she was thinking at this moment.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

She awoke to a throbbing headache. When she looked in the mirror she saw that her face was streaked clearly, revealing the path her many tears had taken.

Is that all I am to him? His night time whore… 

A/N: Oh come on! I tried really hard with this chapter!!!! So, please review!


	6. Boy talk

"Oh just leave it Harry," he muttered irritably.

"All I'm saying is that it's _weird_ not knowing what you two are fighting about. You both usually make it so public…"

Ron fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Maybe you should ask _her_." He vaguely intimated the _her_ he meant by sticking his nose up in the air and pretending to…flounce around a bit. Harry pretended not to see this startlingly accurate portrayal of his other best friend.

"Yeah ok. I will actually. Because I'm sick of this…" he swiftly and determinedly exited the common room.

Staring blankly out of the window it took him a minute or so to come to his senses. Flying clumsily through the portrait hole and narrowly avoiding a frisky-looking Lavender, he eventually caught up with Harry.

Ron stood there catching his breath, a ridiculous grin, in spite of his anxiety spreading across his flustered face.

Harry began to laugh.

"So I gather you'd rather I didn't ask Hermione?"

At the sound of her name, his face became momentarily contorted with either guilt or discomfort…or both, it was hard to make out.

"She thinks I'm a complete pervert," he whispered, shaking his head regrettably.

"What!?" Harry sniggered, "Well you _are_ a bit of a pervert…"

"No, no, no Harry…you don't know the half of it…" he sighed dramatically before continuing, "…recently I've been sort of…erm…having these dreams. No, I know what you're thinking… that it's normal? But mine sort of aren't…normal…because they're always about the same person…_her. _And _I'm_ not the only one who remembers them in the morning. She…erm…_she _remembers them too." He gulped and made a feeble attempt at assuming a nonchalant expression as he awaited Harry's response.

"What kinds of things does she do in these dreams Ron?" He tried to sound offhand, uninterested, serious.

A strangled cross between a moan and a sigh escaped Ron's lips, "Oh if you only knew Harry…she…_she…she…well…_magnificent, extraordinary, beautiful things…"

A garbled and excited account of Hermione's recent nighttime exploits was then relayed to an astounded Harry. So graphically and eloquently was it portrayed that the two of them had to take a few minutes of silence to dwell on this. Undoubtedly Ron was pleasantly reliving these wonderful events whilst Harry was still trying desperately to envision his reserved, sensible and presumably innocent best friend in this light.

They both collapsed into immature giggles.

"Hang on though Ron. I don't understand. You're both dreaming about _stuff _with each other…why are you fighting?"

He scratched his neck embarrassedly, "Oh well, you know the last one I told you about?"

Harry's voice dropped to a whisper. "The one where she was wearing a black leather cat suit?"

After only a brief hesitation he continued. "Yeah, that one. Well after we err…_you know_…this time we sort of woke up…only we were still dreaming. And that's never happened before. I panicked. I didn't know what to say to her! And then she started crying and brought up Lavender which you know, pissed me off…"

"Understandably."

"…erm yeah. And anyway, she just looked at me like I'd done something completely awful…when_ I _wasn't the one who'd just been mercilessly whipping me all night…only I didn't mention _that _of course…"

"Good."

"Then I woke up. She's been ignoring me ever since, you know…"

"I know. Well if it makes you feel any better, it sounds to me like _she_ was the one in control most of the time…"

A small smile momentarily flashed across Ron's thoughtful face.

Harry continued, "All that dominatrix stuff…I mean…"

"She practically raped me."

"Exactly."

The both dissolved into laughter again.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I dunno. She's avoiding me. Not just during the day…I mean in our _dreams_ too. It's quite humiliating actually…last night I found myself naked, sprawled across the floor in the dungeons." His ears reddened, "Well…eventually she just walked in, didn't even look at me, grabbed a book and left. I couldn't move you see. I thought I was going to explode…"

Harry struggled to contain his laughter because, by the hopeless look on Ron's face, it was clearly something quite upsetting to him.

"Ok…please don't punch me but don't you think you should finish things with Lavender? You are sort of stringing her along you know…"

"Yeah, I know. I only went out with her to make _Hermione_ jealous (he whispered her name almost fearfully) and that worked out pretty well didn't it…" he muttered sourly.

"Well you'd be surprised. As an onlooker I can affirm that her jealousy was merely suppressed out of stubbornness whenever you were present. Think about it, since when has she been so civil towards Lavender…a girl who she used to dismiss as a useless bimbo?"

Ron looked immensely pleased with himself.

"But you probably shouldn't get too excited mate."

"Why?" he looked aghast.

"Because she's going to Slughorn's party with Cormac McLaggen." He blurted out, his thoughts turning rapidly to how he could possibly escape having this conversation.

"What!? What?! You're joking right?"

Harry thought it was safest to keep his eyes fixed firmly in front of him…there's an interesting looking tree…

"Cormac _McSlaggen_!? _Him?!"_

Oh look, there's Ginny with her friends, over by the tree…

"I can't believe this…"

She's probably studying for her OWLs…

"Hermione with 'Cormac McSlaggen and his talent for shaggin'…" Ron winced at the crude song. He'd always thought it was catchy. I mean, yes, it'd always annoyed him. Especially when he'd caught his sister humming it…but now it was beyond stupid. It was evil. It was criminal.

Such lovely red hair…

"No way…there is NO way I'm letting her go on a date with him. No way! What exactly is she trying to prove anyway?! I mean, she must be doing this for a reason…"

Harry snapped out of his own fantasies at that, regarding his friend with a certain level of pity.

"Oh I don't know Ron. I mean, what sort of person goes out with someone else just to prove a point?"

"Exactly." Ron's satisfied smile faded and he began to look confused…then suspicious, "Hang on a second…you're talking about me aren't you? Oh for Merlin's sake Harry, me going out with Lavender is completely irrelevant to this. I knew what I was doing, whereas _she…_that McSlaggen isn't safe." He looked grim.

"Hermione's the smartest person I've ever met!"

"Yes, but not when it comes to things like this Harry. Do I really have to bring up Lockhart…and _Vicky_?" He looked faintly disgusted.

"There was nothing wrong with Krum."

"Oh of course there wasn't Harry, whatever you say." He rolled his eyes impatiently. "But the point is, someone needs to tell Hermione that she's been a naïve idiot and that she's going to get herself into trouble if she doesn't see sense. And as _you_ seem to be siding with her on this for some reason, I fear that the task will fall to me."

"Do have a death wish?" Harry gave him a look of warning.

Ron's brow furrowed slightly.

Harry continued. "You're actually considering attempting to give her a lecture when it's clearly nothing to do with you in the first place, she's already furious and it's bound to make her more so, not to mention the fact that it'd be incredibly hypocritical and oh yeah, she'd hex you into oblivion."

"Ok, I did have a death wish just then. But, I've decided that I love life too much…and I…erm…won't interfere."

Harry bore an expression that disturbingly resembled Mrs. Weasley.

"I'll try not to interfere!"

"You better not. Hermione's more than capable of taking care of herself. And frankly I'm tired of having to watch her cry over _your _pig headedness!

Ron looked slightly wounded at that.

"Look, I'm sorry Ron. But it's frustrating. Why can't you just ask her out?"

"Victor Krum…Lavender…_McSlaggen_…" he sounded pathetic.

Harry smiled sympathetically. "You'll sort yourself out."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ginny was determined. She needed to have a chat with Hermione. Her brothers' extendable ears had come in useful once again…

Talk to Hermione now.

Kill Ron later.

A/N: I hope you liked that! I apologise for the lack of smut and for the fact that Hermione and Ron don't interact at all in this chapter. Sometimes it's necessary for a filler don't you think? It's probably quite obvious what the next chapter will entail. Anyway, thanks for reading, and PLEASE REVIEW:D


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